I became a professional dominatrix in 1997 when I was twenty-three years old. Back then, the pro-domme business was much different than it is today. It was much less developed, much more underground. The big reason for this was the internet wasn’t what it is today. Social media had yet to even be invented.
I was fortunate to live in Los Angeles, a city where the dominatrix industry was relatively well-established, second only to New York. Had I not lived in L.A., I doubt I ever would have become a pro-domme. There wouldn’t have been any opportunities: no dungeons to work in, no one to mentor me. Classes on how to become a domme, or how to master BDSM practices, weren’t ubiquitous like they are now. Back then, BDSM was still quite taboo, still viewed as a perversion for “freaks.”
I happened to meet someone at a concert who invited me to a dungeon party where I would meet the domme who would ultimately train me. If you haven’t already, you can read about my experience at that dungeon party here.
Dominatrixes advertised in specialty papers.
Back in the ’90s, internet databases for dominatrixes were just beginning. Max Fisch was the best place to have a link, along with Dickie Virgin. However, a pro-domme still found the majority of her clientele through specialty newspapers.
The best way to advertise as a dominatrix in L.A. back then was in a paper called New Reality. This paper was wholly dedicated to dominatrixes.
Dommes could also advertise in The LA Xpress, a free paper dedicated to the L.A. sex trade. This paper could be found on newsstands all over town.
The LA Xpress exploded in popularity after street-based prostitution was outlawed on Sunset and Santa Monica Boulevards in Hollywood. Sunset was the typical cis-female prostitution drag and Santa Monica Blvd. was for pre-op and post-op transfemale sex workers.
In my case, I didn’t like advertising in The LA Xpress, as you would be flooded with calls from “time-wasters” (clients who weren’t serious about booking a session and just wanted to hear your voice), or men who did want a session but at a deeply discounted rate. Though dommes advertised in a “specialties” section of that paper, too many men weren’t able to differentiate domination from full-service prostitution, so it just seemed sketchy. I never felt safe advertising in The LA Xpress, so I preferred New Reality even if I got fewer leads through it.
Dungeons in L.A. in the late ’90s
In L.A. at the time, you made your money domming men in person. Camming was still in its inception phase. Peer-to-peer payment apps didn’t exist. Basically, there was no “online” domination business.
There were two commercial dungeons in Los Angeles — The Chateau and Lady Laura’s. (Lady Laura’s later became known as The Dominion.) Both venues have since shuttered. Passive Arts, another commercial dungeon, also opened its doors in the late ’90s, though it closed in 2010 when the owner was killed by a former “house slave.”
I would ultimately work for a year at The Chateau. I also worked for a while at Passive Arts in 2006.
Besides these legal commercial bondage parlors, there were several well-known privately run dungeons in town. Some of the dommes who ran those dungeons are still active today. Isabella Sinclaire, Simone Justice, and Damiana Chi come to mind.
Why I wanted to become a pro-domme in the ’90s
As I discussed, I became a pro-domme because I needed money. However, BDSM also held an interest for me.
I began my BDSM education while writing for the magazine Taboo, where I happened to start working while employed by the large publishing company that owned the magazine. This was actually my first real job out of college.
It was a fluke that I started working for Taboo, but, for me, learning about BDSM was just another subculture to explore. At the time, I was also busy at work on a documentary about underground Latin rock bands and was traveling a lot to Mexico City (way before it became cool). As I was already into things that seemed abnormal to most, BDSM held an appeal because it was controversial, underground, and therefore, fascinating.
I was also drawn to the clothing associated with the dominatrix profession, as I frequented goth clubs where such fashion was popular. In short, I was already dressing like a dominatrix before I became one!
Becoming a pro-domme simply wasn’t such a crazy thing to consider as I had friends who did it. Sex work was beginning to become a popular side gig for creatives. Yes, it was still considered extremely rebellious but was accepted in creative circles.
However, when I first dipped my toe into the dominatrix industry, I didn’t consider it sex work. I don’t think the term “sex work” even existed in the ’90s.
Prostitution did exist, yes, but I perceived domination as distinctly separate from that world. I didn’t even view domination as sexualized labor. It would take quite some time for me to reconcile with the idea that domination indeed fell under the umbrella of “sex work.”
Anyway, I hope this sets the scene for what the dominatrix business was like in L.A. when I first started working as a pro-domme. The story of how I was trained as a dominatrix is up next and will be gracing your inbox soon.