Introducing "Confessions of a Dominatrix"

Here's what you can expect from a subscription to my new non-linear memoir.

A recent photo of Emme Witt in Chinatown, DTLA.

Hi there! Thanks for stopping by. I’d love for you to subscribe to Confessions of a Dominatrix, my new non-linear memoir.

What can you expect from a subscription to this Substack? You can expect to read installments of the story of my evolution from a “nice” (shy/college-educated) young woman into a dominatrix—a job that’s spanned over decades of my life.

More about me:

I am currently forty-eight years old and first dipped my toes into the world of professional domination twenty years ago. I was twenty-eight when I went to my first “slave party” at a dungeon in Los Angeles and with that, became a dominatrix. 

But there’s a lot more to that story, and that’s what I aim to share here. 

I am and have always been a writer.

Some people think I began writing about my life after my divorce. That is not the case. Before I ever started doing domme work, I was a writer. In fact, I became a dominatrix only after writing a column in the voice of a popular pro-Domme for a men’s magazine. 

After attaining a B.A. in History from UCLA, I went to work as a copy editor and a writer for Larry Flynt Publications. In case you don’t know who Larry Flynt was, he was the man behind the notorious porn magazine Hustler. I worked for several different men’s magazines while employed at Flynt’s company. Taboo, a fetish magazine, was one of them.

So obviously, before I ever officially became a pro-Domme, I did have some experience with the sex industry and the fetish world. Still, I saw myself as an outsider. I worked in a “behind-the-scenes” capacity.

Still, I was learning about BDSM, thanks to the column I was writing. That said, I can’t say I was really happy working for Larry Flynt. Honestly, I would have preferred to not have a day job at all. I was painfully jealous of an heiress friend, who didn’t have to work and could spend her days, painting. I really just wanted to be writing poetry and reading novels.

I was also busy at work on a passion project with a friend of mine. We were documenting on video an underground music movement called "rock en español." My day job was a necessary but annoying aspect of my life.

One of the biggest problems I was facing at the time was that I’d gone massively in debt making these films. My business partner and I had invested in video-production equipment, hired professionals to help us, and were traveling a lot, following the bands. This was a very expensive passion, and I’d maxed out all my credit cards.

I was making hardly enough to live in L.A. as it was, what with my job in publishing. That’s when I met a woman at a concert who worked as a dominatrix. She said she’d help me actually become a dominatrix. 

Yes, I was a curious and somewhat unconventional person. Still, I was shy and introverted—not really dominatrix material. And yet, I wanted to push myself to do this work as I realized I could use it to pay off my debts and not have to be locked into a day job.

In short, I could use what I’d learned writing about being a dominatrix to actually become a dominatrix.

And still, I always thought this would be a temporary solution to my financial woes. I had no idea that this would become a career—nor did I realize how much this job would ultimately change my life. 

Working as a dominatrix full-time.

Once I had enough hands-on experience to start making a serious living as a dominatrix, I quit my job in publishing. I did have some success with the documentaries during this period. One film was shown around the country and my business partner and I spoke at several universities. But we ultimately stopped shooting and parted ways. 

I moved to Spain, where I continued to work as a dominatrix in a professional capacity. I was given a publishing deal to write a book about this experience in Spanish. Parts of that book will be updated here in English. 

As a result of my past in publishing and my domme skills, I also landed jobs working for men’s magazines in Spain. Namely, I became an advice columnist and features writer for Spanish Playboy.

I quit domming to get married.

When my mother became critically ill, I returned to the U.S. I quit domming and writing for men’s magazines and basically put my identity as a dominatrix under wraps. I was unsure that I could ever have what I deemed a “normal life” as an “out” dominatrix, so I stopped telling anyone I’d done this work.

Back in L.A., I soon met the man who would become my husband. He was a traditional guy whom my parents liked. We were married and before I knew it, I’d become the mother of two children. I settled into a suburban life as a stay-home mom, not unlike what my mom did while I was growing up. In fact, we lived only a few miles away from the neighborhood where I’d been raised. 

But as perfect as my life seemed on the outside, I wasn’t happy. I had to keep my dominatrix past a secret and was dealing with a lot of internalized shame about having done adult labor. My in-laws never fully accepted me as a result of my past. I was trying to live a normal life but found I couldn’t. 

This coupled with the difficulties of bringing up two kids with special needs (I have a child with severe ADHD and one who is on the spectrum), my marriage ultimately fell apart. I’ve had to accept that my now-ex-husband and I just weren’t right for each other. 

I got divorced. 

The problem was, now that I was divorced, I had no idea how to support myself as a single mom. I hadn’t had a “traditional” job in years and hadn’t worked at all while I was married. It seemed logical that I’d return to domming. But doing so at this stage of life presented new challenges. 

Still, I was ultimately able to build my life again as a single mom with the help of domme work. I did this work while also tutoring high-school students and teaching elementary-school students art. The idea that a woman can’t do adult labor and work with children just isn’t true. My work in the adult industry never impacted my ability to be a good mother either. 

My current writing.

During this time, I also began writing on Medium. As I said, I’ve always been a writer. While I was married, I attained an M.F.A. in Creative Writing. I wrote novels and my short stories were published in literary journals (under a different name). 

At the present, I have two accounts on Medium. My “vanilla” writing (under a different name) has also appeared on Your Tango, Mamamia, and Newsbreak. My recent work as Emme Witt has appeared on MetroUK. Besides that, I’m the author of a memoir called Sex-Starved, chronicling my dating journey after I left my husband. For now, you can read it for free on Wattpad.

So this is the whole story—one I will be fleshing out here on Substack. For now, this non-linear memoir is free to read. As this is a reader-supported project, you can still pay to subscribe, as that helps fund my writing.

Donations are also welcome. You can buy me a cold brew or send tips directly through my CashApp: $MysteriousWitt. 

For photos of me, please follow me on Instagram. To watch me talk about my life, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. 

In closing, thanks for being here. It means a lot to me that you want to know more about my story. To chat or talk to me (for a fee), please go here.